Note: I am out of the
country for a few weeks recharging in Italy. I wanted to set up a series of
blogs on the three essential steps to success in career – and share one each
week with you in the hope that you will inspired to begin the journey. This is
the intro to my new book soon to be published, “In the Whirlpool of Life &
Career?”. Thx- Dan
The Three Steps
to Career (and Life!) Success
And you cannot
skip them …
Step Three: Give
Yourself Permission
Over the past twenty-five years I have
been in this business, I have learned one very important thing about people in
the midst of change …
… Change is a process – a
sequential process – and you cannot leapfrog one step, or you failure or enjoy
a miserable journey.
Most however try to cut corners.
They launch into a change in their career or life without a plan. They jump
over the basics – and they find themselves caught in a fog: a feeling of not
knowing where to go or what to do next.
It is natural. We are a “want it
to be today” society that expects immediate results.
In many situations, technology has
enabled us to expect this.
But in others – not. Change in
career and life is just one of those life situations that takes time,
dedication, and patience. It takes having a plan of action, or you will find
yourself lost. It required a dedication – a dedication to achievement that
cannot be daunted – by anyone or any situation.
I have coached my clients over the
years to look at the process as Three-Steps:
- Acceptance
- Commitment
- Giving yourself permission.
Three powerful words – three
powerful states of being to move through.
Onward!
Give Yourself Permission
______________________________________________
Dream and
give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be. – Joy Page
I want you to visualize with
me for a moment. Picture if you will a person – male or female, your choice –
of normal build and stature.
Picture
that person beginning to walk up a steep hill.
Now
here’s the visual …
…
picture that person with a 50 lb. boulder stick on their butt that won’t come
off.
Yup
– hanging there on their backside. Think they are ascending easily? Hell no.
When
one does not give them self permission to achieve and change, they have the
commitment but cannot move. Like trying to climb with a boulder on your butt.
They will try but the climb will be difficult – real difficult.
Throughout
this process, you will be asked to give yourself permission to accept, achieve,
act, etc. It is an ongoing process that in life and career, never ends. It
is a critical process in career & growth management that alone defines the
difference between success, and failure to succeed.
The
definition of permission:
per·mis·sion, noun, (/pərˈmiSHən/
- Consent; authorization.
- An official document giving authorization.
Permission is consenting and “authorizing” to
yourself that you can.
Most are brought up in life with a golden rule, Do good for others. We are not taught –
or allowed – to do good for ourselves, without guilt. It is not part of the
golden rules. So we go through life doing all for others, but not for ourselves
because we were told that is right.
Not until a defining moment happens - defining change in life or career – does one
begin to think and say to themselves:
“This is okay.
I have done for others throughout my life and it is right and good to do for
myself now”.
Accepting
that statement is powerful and a game changer. In my practice, I deal with this
process all the time. It is epically difficult for moms or others who have the
responsibility to care for others – it is not intuitive to them; they need to
adjust the mind setting, and they usually do. I find myself reaffirming with
them at most every session, “Remember, it I okay to do for yourself, right”?
As I write this part of the plan, I am working with
a highly-accomplished woman who built a business, grow it while raising
children, sold it and is ready for the next part of career life.
She remarks to me often, “I never believed I could
be where I am today – not doing for others or my family – but doing or
myself”.
Not really true, her next achievement will help her
family and others, she just doesn’t see that yet – but she has given herself
permission, and that is huge and life-defining.
So stop asking yourself should I – do it and do it
now. Give yourself permission to be all you want to be and to soar with the
eagles!
Execute the Permission agreement that follows and
live and grow by it. And thank you for reading this. - Dan
My Permission Agreement, entered into on this date:
(Insert Date Here)
Without hesitation (that already occurred!) I
willingly enter into this agreement to give myself permission to the following:
I give myself permission to:
Do for me once
and for all …
To love those
I love …
To honor those
who deserve my honor …
To begin the
journey to personal and professional success …
To achieve my
goals in my quest for personal and professional success …
To invest in
myself as required …
To open my
mind to opportunities no matter how out-of-the-box they may be …
To achieve –
really achieve …
Add: ______________________________________________
Add:
______________________________________________
And to be
proud of myself …
Agreed before myself, those I love and who
love me, and my God:
___________________________________________
(Your Signature)
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