Values are learned on the couch …

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
James Baldwin (1924-1987); Author

Many talk about the workplace values of today’s workers – some in glowing terms; others not. Some say younger workers are lazy; others say that the older generation only knows hard work. To a degree, workplace values are generational but there is one influence that will never change and isn’t generational:

Values are learned in formative years – the lessons they learn sitting on the couch and observing.

I see it in my practice every day. Some come from a family where only working hard and long was acceptable. It didn’t matter if you liked what you were doing – it was just important to be doing, maybe unhappily. Over time, not being happy in what you are doing manifest itself into all parts of life – family, spouse, relationships el al. They are in my office because they want to break this and be happy in their career life.

Others have observed their influencers in early years – parents, family and others – who didn’t care about the work they did and they just wanted to get by and not much more. To a degree, where underachievement was acceptable. In later years, it becomes difficult to break that value and accept that one can achieve – but it can and is done. For these people, it is understanding – no giving themselves permission – to achieve, and once they do this – rocket ship forward.

A client of mine related a story to me about a father who cheated his son playing monopoly and when the son questioned him he told him “Never Trust Anyone”. Imagine how that would affect one’s values in life going forward – your parent cheats you and says that? The son – Former Governor Eliot Spitzer – clearly value challenged, and it goes back to the influence of his youth. Ed Note: Thank you Paul …

So what is the point here?

• If you find yourself unable to understand why you cannot seem to find the motivation and drive to move forward in your life and career and look all around you to see what is causing this, look back – way back – to understand that values that influenced you in earlier years. One you understand and accept this, it is much easier to break the past and move toward your future. If I hadn’t done this, I would have never been in my own business or succeed with my family as I feel I have – it was not in the history.

• Concerned over where your children are going or not? Talk to them. Understand their values. Help them understand it is okay to change – okay to be different. Be sure they are in the right direction on their value compass.

• Be an influencer. Your role in influencing others – in family, the community or in the workplace – will contribute to your success and the success of others.

As a leader, the values you exhibit will influence those around you – your family, employees, friends and most anyone you get to know. Embrace that power. – And thank you for reading this. - Dan

Dan Moran
President & Founder
Next-Act
Career Management & Transition Specialists
Celebrating 24 years providing career management services in 2012!
125 Wolf Road, Suite #128
Albany, NY 12205
Office: 518-261-4212
Cell: 518-641-8968
eFax: 586-279-4212
dmoran@next-act.com