Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Three Steps to Career (and Life!) Success: Step Three: Give Yourself Permission

Note: I am out of the country for a few weeks recharging in Italy. I wanted to set up a series of blogs on the three essential steps to success in career – and share one each week with you in the hope that you will inspired to begin the journey. This is the intro to my new book soon to be published, “In the Whirlpool of Life & Career?”. Thx- Dan

The Three Steps to Career (and Life!) Success
And you cannot skip them …
Step Three: Give Yourself Permission

Over the past twenty-five years I have been in this business, I have learned one very important thing about people in the midst of change …

 … Change is a process – a sequential process – and you cannot leapfrog one step, or you failure or enjoy a miserable journey.

 Most however try to cut corners. They launch into a change in their career or life without a plan. They jump over the basics – and they find themselves caught in a fog: a feeling of not knowing where to go or what to do next.

 It is natural. We are a “want it to be today” society that expects immediate results.

 In many situations, technology has enabled us to expect this.

 But in others – not. Change in career and life is just one of those life situations that takes time, dedication, and patience. It takes having a plan of action, or you will find yourself lost. It required a dedication – a dedication to achievement that cannot be daunted – by anyone or any situation.
 I have coached my clients over the years to look at the process as Three-Steps:
  •  Acceptance
  •  Commitment
  •  Giving yourself permission.
Three powerful words – three powerful states of being to move through.
Give Yourself Permission
Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.  – Joy Page

I want you to visualize with me for a moment. Picture if you will a person – male or female, your choice – of normal build and stature. 

Picture that person beginning to walk up a steep hill. 

Now here’s the visual … 

 … picture that person with a 50 lb. boulder stick on their butt that won’t come off. 

Yup – hanging there on their backside. Think they are ascending easily? Hell no.
When one does not give them self permission to achieve and change, they have the commitment but cannot move. Like trying to climb with a boulder on your butt. They will try but the climb will be difficult – real difficult.

Throughout this process, you will be asked to give yourself permission to accept, achieve, act, etc. It is an ongoing process that in life and career, never ends. It is a critical process in career & growth management that alone defines the difference between success, and failure to succeed. 

The definition of permission:

per·mis·sion, noun, (/pərˈmiSHən/
  1. Consent; authorization.
  2. An official document giving authorization.

Permission is consenting and “authorizing” to yourself that you can.

Most are brought up in life with a golden rule, Do good for others. We are not taught – or allowed – to do good for ourselves, without guilt. It is not part of the golden rules. So we go through life doing all for others, but not for ourselves because we were told that is right. 

Not until a defining moment happens -  defining change in life or career – does one begin to think and say to themselves:

“This is okay. I have done for others throughout my life and it is right and good to do for myself now”. 

 Accepting that statement is powerful and a game changer. In my practice, I deal with this process all the time. It is epically difficult for moms or others who have the responsibility to care for others – it is not intuitive to them; they need to adjust the mind setting, and they usually do. I find myself reaffirming with them at most every session, “Remember, it I okay to do for yourself, right”?

As I write this part of the plan, I am working with a highly-accomplished woman who built a business, grow it while raising children, sold it and is ready for the next part of career life. 

She remarks to me often, “I never believed I could be where I am today – not doing for others or my family – but doing or myself”.  

Not really true, her next achievement will help her family and others, she just doesn’t see that yet – but she has given herself permission, and that is huge and life-defining. 

So stop asking yourself should I – do it and do it now. Give yourself permission to be all you want to be and to soar with the eagles! 

Execute the Permission agreement that follows and live and grow by it. And thank you for reading this. - Dan

My Permission Agreement, entered into on this date:
 (Insert Date Here)
Without hesitation (that already occurred!) I willingly enter into this agreement to give myself permission to the following:
I give myself permission to:
Do for me once and for all …
To love those I love …
To honor those who deserve my honor …
To begin the journey to personal and professional success …
To achieve my goals in my quest for personal and professional success …
To invest in myself as required …
To open my mind to opportunities no matter how out-of-the-box they may be …
To achieve – really achieve …
Add: ______________________________________________
Add: ______________________________________________
And to be proud of myself …
Agreed before myself, those I love and who love me, and my God:
 (Your Signature)

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